Talkin' Nonsense
Today is not a good day

Not a poet. it just rhymed the first few times so I just continued the trend.

Today is not a good day.

There’s a certain kind of melancholic mood

Today is not a good day.

I can’t eat a single piece of food

Today is not a good day.

My head is full of morbid thoughts and fears

Today is not a good day

 I’m always on the verge of tears

Today is not a good day.

There’s a heavy feeling in my chest

Today is not a good day.

My mind is at unrest

Today is not a good day.

My heart feels like lead

Today is not a good day.

I’m hanging by a thread

Today is not a good day.

I feel tired as if I’ve run a mile

Today is not a good day.

It’s difficult to smile

Today is not a good day.

I keep thinking about what could never be

Today is not a good day.

I keep thinking about how there is no you and me

ON LOVING AND LETTING GO…

Today I made one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my entire life. I let go. It’s hard when you love someone and they mean so much to you but sometimes you have to do things even if it hurts a lot because it’s the right thing to do.

 I didn’t give up so easily though, for a long time I fought. But there comes a time when one must accept defeat. From the beginning I already knew that this would be a losing battle. My brain, which has always been the dominant part of me, was screaming that I shouldn’t let myself fall but for the first time, I fought to ignore it and let my heart have its way for once. A lot of people would say I was stupid and I agree. My brain already told me that but I argued that I have always been rational and I have always made calculated decisions and that maybe this time, I shouldn’t rely on how I usually decide which is by extracting emotions and using logic and trajectory.  

I let myself freefall into an abyss but now it’s time that I climb out. I love you and I always will but it’s time to move on. I can’t keep making a fool out of myself and I’ve been ignoring people who actually give a fuck about me because I was too focused on you. A huge part of me is wishing that things could have turned out differently. Maybe it could in the future, but I’m not going to invest much hope in that thought. I don’t regret loving you because even for the shortest time, I got to pretend that we were what I wanted us to be. I don’t let a lot of people into my life and when I do, they are there forever so you’ll always be a part of mine. So I guess thanks is order for being part of it right?

I don’t want to dwell on this shit now so I’m just going to do stuff to take my mind off my misery… any suggestions?

 Wish me luck!

When you’re gone, the world starts again. But I don’t like it as much. I can live in it, but I don’t like it…

…that’s how much you mean to me. =P

It might not be what I wish it was, but i’m still really glad that I got to pretend even for a little while…
T.G.I.F. = THANK GOD I’M FABULOUS!
Dreaming about you is more effective than any alarm clock I ever had…

… what a way to start the day. *bleh*

You’ve already won me over, inspite of me…

…and I’m not liking it one bit. =P

DANCE. RECOVER. REPEAT.
♪♫♪ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine! You make me happeeeeee when skies are graaaaaaaaay! ♪♫♪
You’re like a lollipop. Literally and Figuratively. teeheehee. you’re making me giggle.
LOOKS DON’T MATTER? WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?

It annoys me when people say looks don’t matter. Come on. Who are you trying to fool? Admit it. The first thing that you see in a person is how he or she looks. As my friend bluntly put it, “Nobody can tell if you’re nice or smart just by looking at you”. A troll might be the nicest, kindest and best thing that will ever happen to you, but before you get to know all this, you see what’s in front of you: a troll.

On estimation, 98% of the people I ask tell me that looks don’t matter and that it’s what’s inside that count. Only a handful admitted that when it comes to choosing someone, they of course consider looks.  This is just my opinion but it kind of makes 98% of the people I know hypocrites when it comes to that particular question.

Generally, if looks don’t matter, then why are movie stars some of the highest paid people in the world? Yes, I don’t rule out the fact that acting, no matter how easy it looks, is a pretty difficult job but you have to acknowledge that they get paid a lot to endorse products because of the way they look. The way they LOOK is basically the reason they are labelled “stars” and paid so much money and supported by legions of fans.

 In the love department, unless you fall in love with a phonepal or penpal which rarely happens, the first thing you see in a person is the way they look. The operative verb being SEE. Some people say that they don’t really look but that’s a lot of bull. Most people when asked why they fell in love with their partner answer that it’s because of their soulful eyes or disarming smile, which is still of course part of the persons look.

While looks, of course, aren’t the entire basis for one to pick a person to have a relationship with, you have to admit that it is part of the reason why you fall for someone. Eventually, a person’s personality shines through when you get closer and know one another better and better but initially, how they look plays a big factor on why you liked them in the first place.

But that’s not the main reason why it annoys me. I have a lot of friends who say that looks don’t matter but experience heartbreak because they choose the good looking ones who catch them off guard because of the killer combination of looks plus charm. Then they come running and crying about it when it doesn’t work out. While I sympathize with them and generally feel sorry for them and their situation,  I can’t help but think at the back of my head how hypocritical they are saying those things about looks don’t matter and it takes some effort not to tell them that this is them eating their own words. It may seem heartless in a way but I would have been much more understanding if they told me that they also had considered looks instead of telling me that looking at someone’s outer appearance is superficial.

Personally, I choose people I like 80% on personality and 20% on looks. Now I know that I’m not the most good looking person out there but that doesn’t mean that I can’t choose the cute, smart and interesting person who’s foolish enough to fall for me can I?  

ON GREAT EXPECTATIONS, DISAPPOINTMENT AND WRITING WHILE 75% ASLEEP

One’s foray into an unexplored world should be exciting, informative and ultimately, fun. While this statement might be somewhat true, one’s venture into something novel is not without its fair share of disappointment which if it wasn’t so, might have otherwise been, at the very least, a great experience.  We are, of course, talking about finding out that one’s object of affection has somehow gotten in his addled brain that he likes someone else. While not entirely shocking because one’s lack of naivety has already ordered his brain to forget about anything more than friendship, the tiny hopeless romantic gland located in one’s  gut has somehow infused one with a sense of hope that one’s object of affection might feel the same way. Alas, the real world is not movieland where everything is so simple and turns out right in the end. The world is cruel and while one has cruised over almost anything that got in one’s  way, the boulder of love proved to be one’s Achilles heel: too big to jump over and too heavy to move aside.  

One needs to sleep now. 

Given the circumstances, or even on a normal day, I should have slept for most of the day. But only after 2 hours of sleep, I woke up because you were suddenly in my dreams…

…and for a reason I just found out very recently, it depressed the shit out of me. 

Now I know. 

Thank goodness it was sooner rather than later. 

Because then I would be in too deep.

And that’s not a very nice place to be.

Because I imagine it would be pretty hard to pull myself out. 

I guess i’m lucky. 

But it doesn’t change the fact that it is a sad situation.

I need a hug.

I’m tired. Come over here and bash your face against my palm.
Kahit hindi tayo nag usap talaga at simpleng bati lang ginawa mo parang ang saya na nang buong araw ko. =)

-crush nanga ata talaga kita. kala ko joke lang eh. hahaha